Monday, March 18, 2013

A tribute to Dalla Brown

A truly remarkable woman, my friend Dalla Brown of Gananoque, Ontario died on March 14, 2013.  Her friends and family are giving a celebration of her life on March 22 at the local Legion in Gananoque.  I have asked Dalla's son Stephen Brown to read these thoughts for me.  

These are some thoughts by Patricia Ryan Madson who lives in California.  She was friends with Dalla since 1979.  They met dancing Tai Chi with Al Huang. She asked me to read this for her today. 

I would like to join the party that has come together today to celebrate the wonderfulness of Dalla Brown. I know her as a friend.  In fact I can say easily . . . she was my best friend.  "BFF" they say in the language of texting shorthand.  Best Friends Forever! And we are.  But Dalla would never have wasted time texting, I might add.  She had too much good sense for this. She was too busy looking at the natural world and being helpful to others.

Dalla's great gift was to turn an ordinary life into a work of art.  She touched everything with attention and respect.  She lived lightly on the earth, never wasting anything, and always attending to living things with great care.  I remember once a bird's nest that she watched over at Hawkline. She knew all the creatures who lived in her vicinity.  I don't know if she gave them names . . . but she was aware of life all around her. 

Some of you know that Dalla and Jeremy were frequent visitors at our home in California during the winter months until her health made travel difficult.  They were "snowbirds" who escaped the worst of the Canadian slush by sharing a month with us under mild California skies.  We loved having them near to celebrate the holidays.  

My favorite image of Dalla was in the early morning.  She would often rise quietly before dawn and ascend the stairs from the guest room to sit silently in our living room, wearing her nightclothes.  She always made herself a warm mug of tea and sat on our white sofa cradling the tea while watching the dawn light.  Like a Madonna of the morning Dalla was all there experiencing the ordinary event of daybreak . . .  finding in these moments deep communion with nature, with the light and the dark, with the seasons and with the unmistakable perfection of life "as it is". She was something of a Zen master without all the nonsense or incense.

I learned from her what it means to tune in to the natural world.  This simple wisdom is all too rare these days in a world where we miss the sunrise because we are toying with some electronic device.  Dalla never let technology spoil her relationship to the natural world and the changing of the leaves.  She noticed everything.

I could go on for paragraphs about Dalla the artist . . . the artist in the garden, the artist in the kitchen, the artist in the studio. (oh, how we loved to do art together!) but mostly she was an artist of EVERYDAY LIFE.  She was the best friend I've ever known . . . patient, loyal and always there when I needed her.  I shall miss her wry humor and her loyalty as a friend.  Ron just mentioned that his favorite thing was to hear her burst into laughter.  She had the most delightful and energetic laugh! 

Her laugh and her wisdom will stay with me forever.  It won't be possible to bake a loaf of bread without thinking of Dalla and her practical advice about how to tell if the proportions of flour were right in the bread mixer.  She cooked by instinct, teaching me how to improvise in the kitchen.  I wrote a chapter about her in my book, Improv Wisdom.  "Try-See" was her motto.

I am grateful to Dalla for introducing me to other of her women friends:  Joan, Pat and Elsa as well as her sister Stephanie and daughter Wendy.  I know each of you will join me in the celebration of her friendship. And we treasure the deep love we have for Jeremy, Dalla’s great partner in the dance and for Dalla’s sons (of whom we best know Stephen.)

We would like to be there today to raise a toast and tell a story about this most wonderful of women. Well, we are in spirit.  So our spirit joins with you in Gananoque.  All hail our precious Dalla.  And may the angels of friendship surround Jeremy and be with him and the family.

Love, love and more love
Patricia Ryan Madson and Ron
March 18, 2013

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