Uneven road

Expectations play such a big role in our lives.  Each time I've posted I've reported progress, new milestones, etc.  These last two weeks have been filled with firsts.  I'm now cleared to drive, so I'm back behind the wheel, which is very nice.  Last weekend after visiting a California Genealogical Society class with Ron we drove up to Calistoga where I took part in a wonderful weekend celebration for teachers.  The Light Awards were given to California teachers with projects designed to increase teaching effectiveness and creativity.  I was a key presenter and another first was that I gave a 90 minute "on my feet" workshop in improvisation for a lively group of educators.  It felt great to be working, thinking, doing my teaching thing.  Each moment I seemed to feel stronger and more confident about how my hip was supporting me.  Another first was going into the Indian Hot Springs mineral pool.  This was the first time I'd been given permission to immerse the wound.  It was all good, and it surely seemed like a turning point in the forward progress of the healing.

On Monday I decided on a walking program to strengthen things. I'd go onto the Coastal trail and walk in a steady manner for twenty minutes.  The next day I'd add two minutes to the walk and so on till I got to 30 good strong walking minutes.  On the day I began this Ron was walking with me and pointed out: "Did you know that you are limping?"  And, as I observed myself more closely I could see that I was.  It wasn't a clean, balanced walk.  I began to feel weak in the right leg and needed to stop several times to rest.  This was clearly a setback from the strength I'd felt over the weekend.  Again yesterday on the same timed walk it felt weak. I thought I noticed a tiny clicking sound as the hip moved.  Maybe I was imagining things.  And then in the evening I observed that the wound, which had formerly been completely healed in appearance now showed some signs of pinkness as if slightly inflamed.  Hmmmm . . . what's going on?

Instead of a simple steady upward progress it seems I may have a detour.  I so want to get strong and fit but today it's hard.  I'm contacting my medical team to see if this setback warrants seeing a physician or if it's just part of the way healing works.  Expectations . . . wanting things to be other than they are.  It's fascinating that our minds like to measure Reality against some image in our minds.  Oh let us celebrate things as they are.