"The average human being thinks that happiness lies in stability, in tying up all the loose ends and having things under control. But actually, happiness lies in being able to relax with our true condition, which is basically fleeting, dynamic, fluid, not in any way solid, not in any way permanent. It's transient by nature."
--Pema Chodron
Presently i am struggling with the issue of stability. I am 60 years old and have thrown away my old ...very stable life... because it no longer made any sense. there are no deep regrets as the changes were needed. Too much time was spent managing this life to fit others perception of how i was supposed to be. also, my perception of how i was supposed to be. some of the choices i have made have been less than fun lessons. however i am grateful for those powerful lessons. this life has been lived very self focused by me with the veneer of service to others smearted on top. this is no longer enough. i want to fully serve the people. my mantra has become ... IF NOT NOW - WHEN? it feels as though i am dancing with chaos. my family is up in arms as i have tipped the proverbial apple cart. they are with some frequency condeming and with holding of love as i am not following thier morays they feel i should be following. personally i do not know where the ride is taking me. the anger of my daughters sometimes almost does bring me to my knees into submission. i do recognize in serving the larger family of humanity, my daughters are correct - i do 'neglect' my blood family. HA... as i write this i see i am tyring to tie up all the loose ends and make sense of things. egad.
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